Discussions around the Suburban Farm lately keep dancing around the topic of names. Ryan is perfectly content to wait 7 weeks when we'll find out if we're having a setter or a pointer. I'm not so comfortable waiting. By the time we find out what the kid has for plumbing, we'll have less then four months to choose the critter's destiny.
If you think I'm being overly dramatic lets look at an example: It's Friday night and there are two guys at a party, Sheldon and Duke. We all know what Sheldon's doing, the physics major is hanging out in the corner after being dragged to the party by his slightly more outgoing friend on the off chance that one girl will talk to either of them. And Duke? He's on his third round of beer pong and bragging about his exploits with that chick he met at Hooters (it's a family establishment) while his buddies cheer him on.
See! Names do make a difference. Still don't agree with me? Here is a quick excerpt from Freakonomics
on Slate. This post, A Roshanda by any other name, discusses how names that are inherently black impact the lives of the children who carry them. I don't think its a big stretch to extrapolate that if a name that is obviously "black" can effect the outcome of a child's life, then a name that is obviously "poor" or "hippie" or "snooty" or "strange" could have the same effect.
I know that not everything is about the kid's name. Jeffrey seems like a perfectly nice name until you put Dahmer after it. I know who a person is, is part nature and part nurture. Some of it I can control and some of it I can't. (See Mom! I was listening.) Nevertheless, I think finding a name that both Ryan and I can live with is a huge challenge. Most of the conversations have been going like this, "What do you think of X?" "It's great if you're a hippopotamus with a skin condition."
One problem is that our naming philosophies don't sync. I apparently like long "pretentious" names and Ryan likes short syllables and dislikes nicknames. Boy's names seem to be harder then girl's names, partly because I dated a few (ok a lot) of guys before I met Ryan. Our kid will never be a Jeremy (dated two of them), David (the guy before Ryan), or Palo (stop giggling). (Hey Señor McJudgey Pants - you have to sort through a few frogs (and snakes, and rats, and dogs) before you find Prince Charming.)
So far the only name that neither of us hated was Bicycle. It works for both a girl and a boy! No, we're not having a Gwyneth Paltrow and Chris Martin moment. We would never consider actually naming our child after a two wheeled human powered vehicle, but it does reinforce my desire to start searching for names now. There are an awful lot of hell no's to go through before we'll find a few maybe's to consider and four months doesn't seem like enough time to discover those gems.
I'm sure we'll find one eventually, there aren't many nameless adults running around. And who knows, maybe Sheldon will hire a personal assistant to clean his Academy Awards and Duke will discover what Dark Matter is really made of.
If you think I'm being overly dramatic lets look at an example: It's Friday night and there are two guys at a party, Sheldon and Duke. We all know what Sheldon's doing, the physics major is hanging out in the corner after being dragged to the party by his slightly more outgoing friend on the off chance that one girl will talk to either of them. And Duke? He's on his third round of beer pong and bragging about his exploits with that chick he met at Hooters (it's a family establishment) while his buddies cheer him on.
See! Names do make a difference. Still don't agree with me? Here is a quick excerpt from Freakonomics
on Slate. This post, A Roshanda by any other name, discusses how names that are inherently black impact the lives of the children who carry them. I don't think its a big stretch to extrapolate that if a name that is obviously "black" can effect the outcome of a child's life, then a name that is obviously "poor" or "hippie" or "snooty" or "strange" could have the same effect.I know that not everything is about the kid's name. Jeffrey seems like a perfectly nice name until you put Dahmer after it. I know who a person is, is part nature and part nurture. Some of it I can control and some of it I can't. (See Mom! I was listening.) Nevertheless, I think finding a name that both Ryan and I can live with is a huge challenge. Most of the conversations have been going like this, "What do you think of X?" "It's great if you're a hippopotamus with a skin condition."
One problem is that our naming philosophies don't sync. I apparently like long "pretentious" names and Ryan likes short syllables and dislikes nicknames. Boy's names seem to be harder then girl's names, partly because I dated a few (ok a lot) of guys before I met Ryan. Our kid will never be a Jeremy (dated two of them), David (the guy before Ryan), or Palo (stop giggling). (Hey Señor McJudgey Pants - you have to sort through a few frogs (and snakes, and rats, and dogs) before you find Prince Charming.)
So far the only name that neither of us hated was Bicycle. It works for both a girl and a boy! No, we're not having a Gwyneth Paltrow and Chris Martin moment. We would never consider actually naming our child after a two wheeled human powered vehicle, but it does reinforce my desire to start searching for names now. There are an awful lot of hell no's to go through before we'll find a few maybe's to consider and four months doesn't seem like enough time to discover those gems.
I'm sure we'll find one eventually, there aren't many nameless adults running around. And who knows, maybe Sheldon will hire a personal assistant to clean his Academy Awards and Duke will discover what Dark Matter is really made of.