Weeding the Lawn

What is a weed? A plant whose virtues have not yet been discovered.

Ralph Waldo Emerson

I am out in my yard after a long day of mowing, weeding the gardens, mild transplanting, trimming back the herbs, and other chores that keep things looking presentable. My neighbor J is out washing his car (which does with some frequency) and the guy across the street, R, is weeding his lawn. I have mentioned R in the past, you know, the Republican. J and I wander over to see what R is up too. He has the coolest tool. It rips up weeds using a claw like mechanism on a pole that keeps you from having to bend over. I thought my scam* of letting them grow long and convincing the neighborhood kids to pull them was good, but I want this gadget.

Anyway, we are chatting and he happens to just pop into the conversation, of course he has to pull up the weeds, "it's in the deed restrictions that there can be no weeds between the property line and the street." I know he doesn't mean anything by it, but this guy keeps shoving these deed restrictions in my ear. He was the one who pointed out that the deed restrictions say no poultry, with the exception of pets. My girls are pets, but he let me know that I was walking on a tightrope. (And for my next trick, I will defy all convention and...)

I made some off hand comment about as long as it's green and it cuts that's all that concerns me. J agreed and went to get his mower to give his weeds a buzzcut. I got to thinking - I do care. My lawn is lumpy thanks to the voles/moles and beetles, full of something that looks like a mini lily pad and some other branchy and gristly thing, along with the "buckeyes", dandelions (two verities), and other annoyances. I also have mother of thyme, lots of mother of thyme, and clover. Both of which I love, but they can fall into the weed category depending on who you ask. Sure, I could put down broad leaf weed killer, but it won't help. My yard is on a slope, and the after the first good rain all the herbicides will wash down the hill and into the gardens.

I have many problems challenges with the front gardens - I've even nicknamed one The Cave. It is cold (bottom of a hill) with no light (north side and shaded all day by the house), acidic (ph of 7, same as beer) and it never drains. It's also the front garden so I do what I can to help the few cave dwelling plants I put there to scratch out an existence. Adding herbicide into an already impossible situation won't help anything. I do spread grass seed (I swear this only makes me have to weed the grass out of the gardens, and doesn't have any real effect.) but I limit the fertilizers - they just end up in the gardens mucking with the ph and making mutant plants. I don't water - the gardens never drain and that's were all the water ends up anyway. I could mow more frequently, I do love my mower, but even I only have so much spare time.

Yes, I would love to have a lawn that looks like this. But that's just not in my future. Instead, I will resign my self to slowly replacing the front territory with gardens so that the homeowners association doesn't notice when I have no more weeds to mow.

- G

*Yes, I really do let the weeds get long and have the kids help me pull them up. The "buckeyes" and dandelions are easily identifiable and the kids love ripping out sections of "lawn". They also love creating a HUGE pile of weeds and then dumping it in the back woods. Who knows why this is fun, but I'm not about to ruin a good thing by asking.